What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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The dewey decimal system

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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What do you call an asian who celebrates Christmas? A christan

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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What didnt rebecca black do today ride the bus

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Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

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What's more fun than a negative pregnancy test? Nothing.

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two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

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what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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Are you black? Kill yourself.

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Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops