A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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I told a joke to my friends. They laughed.

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children burning

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why did the Asian by a dog because he was lonely

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If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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