what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

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falling didnt make the difference

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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balls

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

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In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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