you lose.

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

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butt sex

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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One day a mans computer was unusually, when all else failed, he had to go to extreme measures. He then refreshed his page.

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Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

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Why did the fridge cross the road? Because Sally has no arms

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Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

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Health food.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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