Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock who is there? Jehovah's Witness... IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door. Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you. In most ways Jehovah's Witnesses are like everyone else. They have normal problems—economic, physical, emotional. They make mistakes at times, for they are not perfect, inspired, or infallible. But they try to learn from their experiences and diligently study the Bible to make needed corrections. They have made a dedication to God to do his will, and they apply themselves to fulfill this dedication. In all their activities they seek guidance from God's Word and his holy spirit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between you and a cat? The cats mom isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

thumb_up thumb_down +1

God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a black man that sells drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding half a sticker in your apple Half a worm

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was there a black guy in the back of a police car? He was caught stealing

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

It's yellow and when you press the button, it becomes red... A baby chicken in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

http://richardfigures.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops