Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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E= McVagina

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops