- Anti Joke

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

What worse than the holocaust? Dries Roelvink!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

whats the best thing about polio...death

how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

An irish man walks out of a bar

What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks