Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Trashcan!

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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whats worse then getting fired from your job? Getting raped by a giant gorilla with a 4 foot long penis following by being bitten by a very poisonous rattle snake and slowly dying a painful death.

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A father teaches his son to ride a bike. Father: Don't stop or you'll fall. Son: Ok, dad. They have a nice time,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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