How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

What is a life without options.... an optionless life

About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

tee hee

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

A man walks into a bar

What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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