What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal, and run.fctswity (sultably

What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

whats worse then getting fired from your job? Getting raped by a giant gorilla with a 4 foot long penis following by being bitten by a very poisonous rattle snake and slowly dying a painful death.

What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

*you're

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

How do you get your children out of a cardboard box? You open the box to see your dead children's corpses

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a rapist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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