Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

dfasdf sdf ds fds fds f sdf s fs

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

WNBA

Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal, and run.fctswity (sultably

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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