What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the car cross the road? Green light

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

thumb_up thumb_down -12

ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

thumb_up thumb_down -12

They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Penisland

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a Jew in a car? Ask him to get in. How do you get him out? (If they say tell him to get out) Tell him Hitler is driving (If not) Ask him to kindly step out of the vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops