Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

What's another word for a priest? Rapist

A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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