Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

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What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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Ham sandwich

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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thumb_up thumb_down +3

your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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A man is talking nonsense at a wall when another man walks up to him. "Why are you talking at a wall?" "I'm trying to appease the mighty wall god Kaleothayrhonka." "Cool, let me join you!" And they both talk at the wall for hours on end because they are stupid that way.

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

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My great grandfather died in the holocaust. He fell off the guard tower.

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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