Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Tell you something funny.

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why did the imagrant cross the road the cops were on his tail for false identity of the chicken

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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What did the little boy do when he dropped his ice cream? Acted very mature and requested another one from his mother

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what does a black guy and a chinease guy have is common? I don't know but it would be interesting to find out.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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