Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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I saw a mexican drowning and saved him... as my screensaver ;)

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

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A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

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How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

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Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

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whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to one tree? Nailed to 10 trees

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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