What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, get out of the garden it's time for lunch.

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

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What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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Charlie morgans a pussy EDEN HAZARDS A TANK

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a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

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What time is it? Refrigerator

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

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whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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Black People.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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