What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

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So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

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Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

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What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

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do you wanna hear a joke cutsforbieber#

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i cannot get my penis to rise to the occasion, it is the holocaust tho..

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Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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What is 8 times 4? 32

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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A snake walks into a bar

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what's the difference between a white man and a black man? their skin color

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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a person cries in the corner you go over to them and rape them

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What do you do if you really really hate someone? You kill them. HEEE HEEE! by drew and jubie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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