Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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I WILL DESTROY ISIS

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangeroo??? ... A sheep cannot be crossed with a kangaroo because the genes from sheep cannot work with genes from a kangaroo to produce hybrid sheegaroos or kangareeps.

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

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What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

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Where did the Welsh man work? At an office complex.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

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hi

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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