people magazine

You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

You are joking right?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

David Cameron

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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