Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

A Jew buys something that is not on sale

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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