What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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hi

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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