What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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why did your mum die young because she had canser

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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regoereiorgiorehgijreirehrfjirgjirejgruirehgrghehiiehaoiwpo;lkswpokewqoifgoieqjgiubtfoewfiir K.O

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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