Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Your big dick.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Andoni was here

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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