What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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