A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -22

An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops