What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops