jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

a dyslexic man walked his god.

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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