Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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