If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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