What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

thumb_up thumb_down -11

And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -15

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops