Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Wanna hear a joke? no

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down +19

kkkk

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

sky silverstein

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops