What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops