what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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