What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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WNBA

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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i'm hard

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PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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