Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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