What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

time to spruce up!

Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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