Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane a pilot

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops