Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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