Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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