How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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