How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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irish man drinking john smiths

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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