Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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