What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

Knock knock! Just kidding.

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

a dyslexic boy prays to dog.

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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