whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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Peas

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops