I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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No it doesnt..

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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