What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

Chuck Norris.

Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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