What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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I'm homeless.

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Grace Ackerson

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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a ginger named corey walks into a bad and gets pistol whipped after raping his classmate

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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Pain Olympics.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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