A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops