roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops