What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Peas

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops