There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

Why so serious ?

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

a man walked into a bar and said ow

What page are you on The gay page.

Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

Q~ What did the black man say to the priate when he pulled out a AK47? A~ "This is a gun. im going to kill you with it."

if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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