Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops