Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Donald Trump

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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