a man was shot.... he died

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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