- Anti Joke

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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