Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's 9+10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops