Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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