Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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like if your cool

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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