I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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