Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops