What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

I like the color potato.

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

You dropped something.... Yo lip

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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