Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops