what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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