What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops