What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

thumb_up thumb_down -19

i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops