Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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five gay guys stand in a line is it a straight line

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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