Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops