What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops