When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

Whats green? Mountain Dew.

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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