What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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Cripples are lame.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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