What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is your name? My name is Jeff

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How old is victor? Half past dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

thumb_up thumb_down

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

thumb_up thumb_down

So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

thumb_up thumb_down

an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

thumb_up thumb_down

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops