How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"Knock knock..." "come in"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops