Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

Who row's? •Liam Findlay

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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