What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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