Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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