How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops